Why I belong…

I’m an international student-athlete from the United Kingdom, born in Poland and raised in the small town of Redditch. When I arrived at the University of Delaware in Fall 2023, I showed up with more suitcases than confidence. I was excited, but I was terrified too. New country, new teammates, new expectations. And deep down, a quiet belief that I wasn’t good enough to play here. That belief shaped my entire freshman fall. Walking into my first college practice, my only goal was not to embarrass myself. If everything went perfectly, maybe I’d fight for the No. 6 spot. I played tight, scared to make mistakes, scared to disappoint, scared that everyone would see I didn’t belong. The only thing I truly trusted was my slice. I wasn’t playing to win. I was playing to survive.

After freshman year, I didn’t touch a racquet for almost two months. Not because I was lazy. Not because I didn’t care. But because I was mentally exhausted. I questioned everything, my level, my future, even my identity as an athlete.

Going home to England that summer changed everything. Being with my family made life feel simple again. Talking with friends helped me realize I wasn’t alone. Everyone struggles in their first year. Slowly, I started breathing again. Slowly, I started feeling like myself again. When I came back in my sophomore year, something had shifted. I still had doubts, but I wasn’t playing afraid anymore. I was playing with purpose.That season, I played: Singles at No. 2, Doubles at No. 1 with my best friend, Maryia Hrynashka.

Together, we earned: CAA 2nd Team Doubles, CAA 3rd Team Singles. But the awards weren’t the story. The mindset was. This past fall felt surreal. We reached the semi-finals of the North East Regionals. We beat Monfils in the quarterfinals, and no, sadly not that Monfils. For the first time in my college career, I felt mentally and physically aligned.

A few weeks later, we were competing in San Diego at the ITA Masters. The girl who once doubted she’d even make the line-up was now representing her school on a national stage. Now, I’m graduating in three years alongside my best friends. Sometimes I still feel overwhelmed. Sometimes the future feels scary. But honestly, I feel unbelievably blessed.

Being stressed doesn’t mean you’re not grateful. Being overwhelmed doesn’t mean you’re not ready. It just means you care. Three years ago, I was a girl from a small town who didn’t think she was good enough. Today, I’m competing nationally with lifelong friends, unforgettable memories, and a future I’m excited about.

I’m still learning. I’m still growing. And I’m still becoming. And if you’re reading this, I hope you remember this too. You belong, even on the days you doubt it.

To reach Paulina Jurkowska email : paulinajurko22@gmail.com