Greene Lights Newsletter · Issue #7
Our clinicians and coaches respond to your real questions about performance, parenting, and the mental side of sport. Spring Edition
MK | Micheal Ketner | Music Therapist | michael@greenepsych.com
Your Question: “I am preparing for an audition and worry I am going to make a mistake that will keep me from getting into my dream school. What can I do to make sure this doesn’t happen?”
Greenepsych Answers: This is a certainly a common concern I hear from clients who have big goals just like you do. My suggestion would be to slightly shift your intention and focus: instead of trying to avoid mistakes and focusing on something that you can’t control (because, as you know, everyone makes them), make it your goal every time you play your piece to communicate to the audience what you love about the music.
I have found a lot of musicians don’t take the time to appreciate what they want to connect to in the music, and that is ultimately what audition judges want to see most — how you express how you feel about the music.
By putting your focus on your connection to the music it not only provides your audience a great experience, but you also show them a more complete picture of who you are as a musician. So, I’m encouraging you to shift away from worrying about mistakes to adding a deeper level of connection to the piece. Enjoy your performance!
Reach out if you want to learn more about the habits that make athletes and other performers successful.
SM | Sam Murphy | Parent Coach | sam@greenepsych.com
Your Question: “As a sports parent, how do I deal with my child not being the super star or even getting on the field very much?”
Greenepsych Answers: I know that feeling. As a former coach, I’ve made those playing-time decisions. As a parent, I’ve disagreed with them. And as a counselor, I’ve helped athletes navigate the emotions that come with them.
Here is the truth: Playing time is feedback. Not a verdict.
When parents react emotionally, kids often learn one of two things: “This is unfair, and I’m a victim.” or “My parent doesn’t trust me to handle this.” Neither builds resilience. Instead, try this framework:
Validate emotion, not entitlement.
“It’s hard not playing as much as you like.”
Shift to ownership.
“What do you think you can control?”
Encourage direct communication.
“Have you asked coach what you can improve?”
Discomfort builds confidence. And confidence lasts longer than playing time ever will.
Reach out if you want to learn more about the habits that make athletes and other performers successful.
MK | Marty Kupprion | Mindset Coach | marty@greenepsych.com
Your Question: “My child is really hard on themselves during lacrosse games. If they drop a pass or miss a shot, their mood changes right away and they don’t play as well. How can I help them move past mistakes?”
Greenepsych Answers: This is a very common scenario, especially with athletes who care a lot. A pass gets dropped, a shot misses the cage, and right away the shoulders slump and/or the head drops.
One of the lessons we try to reinforce with our players is that mistakes are a healthy and expected part of sports. You cannot compete, improve, and take risks without them.We practice a few simple reset habits your child can think about for themselves: first, acknowledge the mistake — they can even say to themselves, “Jane, you made a mistake.” Then take one breath in and out to reset the body. Next, use a small mistake ritual such as tapping the stick on the ground or pulling up both socks. Then, self-directed action-oriented encouragement (e.g., “Let’s Go” or “Next Play”) could help motivate them to get after it again.Over time, athletes learn that mistakes are part of the game. What matters most is how they respond.Reach out if you want to learn more about the habits that make athletes and other performers successful.
CP | Clayton Platt | Mindfulness Coach | clayton@greenepsych.com
Your Question: “My son plays basketball and completely unravels when he thinks a referee has made a bad call. He gets so angry that it affects the rest of his game. How do we help him?”
Greenepsych Answers: This one comes up a lot — and it’s not just a youth sports problem. I’ve worked with adult athletes who struggle with the same thing. What’s happening in that moment is that your son’s attention has shifted from the game to the injustice. And the mind, once it locks onto something that feels unfair, can be very reluctant to let go.
I teach athletes to use a reset anchor — bouncing the ball three times, taking one slow breath, pressing their feet firmly into the floor for just a second. That simple physical act interrupts the mental spiral and brings attention back to now. We also work on a fundamental truth: the call already happened. It cannot be changed. The only thing your son controls is what he does next.But here’s what I want parents to understand: a reset anchor only works in the heat of the moment if it’s become a habit through regular practice. Spending even a few minutes a day on simple mindfulness — noticing breath, noticing when the mind wanders, gently bringing it back — builds exactly the mental muscle he needs on the court.At home, resist the urge to replay the bad call on the drive home. How he responded to it matters far more than the call itself.Reach out if you want to learn more about the habits that make athletes and other performers successful.
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Greenepsych · Clinical & Sport Psychology
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